Thesaurus Thursday

In keeping with my decluttering theme, I'd like to pull out and dust off Thesaurus Thursday. I find it is an opportunity to reflect on my inner dialogue and also an excellent way to procrastinate put into perspective these issues I have that hold me back from being the organized, content wife/mother/teacher I visualize while I am drinking whiskey meditating. So instead of purging my 9 yr. old daughter's closet of Littlest Pet Ship figures, Build-a-Bear clothing and her ice skates from when she was 5, I'll be ruminating on what I'm learning from the journey I like to call "De-crapping".

The words that most pop in my head whilst I toil and sweat from trip after trip to the garage with swollen trash bags full of flap doodle (it is in the Thesaurus under crap) is elbow grease. How many times have I started and stopped this project because it was just too much. Too much stuff. Too many piles. The sheer volume of crap clothes that are too small, broken and incomplete toys, shoes without a mate...it is overwhelming. So, I found another "project" to undertake that was less emotionally and physically afflicting. Like shoppoing for curriculum...locating the perfect purse that will make my life complete (curse you, Buxton Bag. Will you ever get here?) I now know that you have to carry on. Even if it means a little scrubbing and chiseling. (yes...chiseling. Those of you with boys will understand)

But, lo, there is a light. Here, my friends, I have discovered that through perseverance and a little elbow grease...heh-heh...you can find hope and satisfaction. It was indeed a light I saw this day. A light patch of carpet in the distance that holds no clutter nor trash. One pristine, glowing corner of a room otherwise filled with mountains of dirty towels and valleys of crevices betwixt bed and wall...dresser and window. There lies a chasm waiting to devour odd socks and Star Wars action figures. But that one glimmer of hope...that light. Oh, yes...it brings me hope. Hope for a future devoid of stepping on Battleship game pieces. By chipping away at the petrified miscellany of ...well...crap, I see a better tomorrow. I see my clean, well-behaved children obeying when I say, "Children, go forth and clean your rooms. Father will be home shortly to have a warm, family dinner and smoke his pipe." *see note Because of my brilliant housekeeping abilities, I have provided them with a clutter-free environment that is easy to clean and pleasant to dwell. *gag*

OK...I can't even stand it anymore. It does help if you read it in your best Kelsey Grammar "Frasier" voice. But, in more of a June Cleaver...never mind.


*get Darren a pipe

Katrina's Big Fat Butt...or Why My Laptop Died

This is Katrina. She has a big, fat butt. She likes her sizable tuchis to be warm. Apparently, this can be achieved by placing the large, corpulent arse on my laptop. Many mornings I would come downstairs to find said tush on my computer. I would shoo her off to find my computer screen filled with kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk...

You get the picture.

I finally wised up and started to close the laptop, but Katrina's colossal keister had taken it's toll.

Katrina is now an outdoor cat due to unrelated issues. (She started peeing in my closet. I think she was acting out because I got rid of her bun warmer.) She now finds thermal satisfaction on the hoods of cars and various sunny spots in the yard.

Disclaimer: I took this photo. My DH is an excellent professional photographer and these shots make his hiney cringe. I'm just learning the ins and outs of actually getting the pictures off my camera, so be patient with me.

Disclaimer: I am also declaring this Thesaurus Thursday. I love my thesaurus and use it often so I don't have to use cuss words. My Uncle Nate always told me that people who cuss have a limited vocabulary. Oh, wait, no he always said to tilt the glass a little more to get less of a head. He also told me to make sure to rinse off all of the soap when washing dishes or you'll get a tummy ache. Maybe it was my dad. But NO one can string a line of obscenities together like my dad when he stubs his toe on the bed. Well, whoever it was, they can go perform the marriage act with themselves. See what I did there? Thesaurus.